Bad Idea

When a kiwi film maker’s historic drama script misses out on short film funding because the commission decides to go with a bunch of stupid zombie movies … again … he goes on a murderous rampage in an attempt to kill every film school idiot who thinks making another fucking zombie movie is, like, ‘a totally good idea’.

A “Recalcitrant Media” FILM
WRITTEN BY Greg Stubbings

After years of painstaking development, passionate film maker Aaron Urquhart finally pitches his historic drama set around prostitution in the Otago goldfields: Sluice Box. But when funding is announced, Aaron discovers that (for the sixth year running) the commission is proud to announce that only zombie movies have made the cut. This decision is the finally straw for Aaron’s previously supportive-but-tragically-middle-class family, who tell him to give up on, “mucking around with the photo thing” and take that job at his uncle’s rope factory. His girlfriend Sharon soon announces she’s leaving him for the director of, The Jogging Dead – a zombie-based fitness video. Unable to afford rent, Aaron is forced to sleep rough in a graveyard- where students from a local film school turn up to shoot another shit zombie movie. When fake blood splatters into Aaron’s cuppa soup, he snaps. He vows to rid the country of every last zombie-loving dickhead. One-by-one Aaron picks off the cast and crew of all the major zombie productions throughout New Zealand – resulting in the some of the most believable death scene acting in zombie movies ever. And he kills some vampire dudes too. Eventually Aaron’s killing spree leads to a dearth of stupid zombie-theme scripts. In a moment of Willy Wonka-esque panic, the commission announces that they will run a live pitching competition for the last of the year’s film production budget. Aaron manages to put his murderous reign of terror ‘temporarily on hold’ while he puts together "the ultimate non-zombie film pitch based in my uncle’s (apparently now supportive) rope factory”. But when the time comes to pitch, he finds his ex-girlfriend’s new lycra-clad lover is also pitching a three hour epic, Zombie Gump. Will the commission see beyond another B-grade moan fest? Or will Aaron just have to stab everyone?